Author Topic: Mercy & Margi's relationship  (Read 30021 times)

Rothshaan

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #60 on: March 16, 2011, 09:27:20 am »
I don't really have the harshness for Margi the way everyone else seems to.

Mercy might only know what Bran or Margi want her to know, about who actually contacted whom and how that came about. And who is to say that Bran couldn't have suggested to Margi that she should stay away until Mercy is around a certain age, like how a legal adoption might be organized (adopted here, eventually was contacted by biological mother before it was really 'legal' for her to do so).
We don't know as of yet, she and Bran might have also found in their best interest to wait and tell Margi's new family and other children about Mercy. Especially when Margi needed to establish a bond and life with her family, while Mercy needed to do so with Bran and the pack.
But before anything, Mercy had to find herself and needed to learn a few things. Bran and the pack helped her along the way, more than Margi ever could have and I think if she tried to be a major part in Mercy's life... it would have added to her list of troubles.
Staying away and having minimal contact with Mercy might have been a huge sacrifice on Margi's part, we still don't know much about her. Even when Mercy struck out on her own, Bran could have advised Margi that it's what Mercy needed. Bran has raised two children in vastly different eras, and has seen so many types of people and can read people rather well. He has a little more insight than Margi might.

As for the wedding, yes part of it was annoying but can you blame a mother for being excited about her daughters wedding and even happy for her given she's marrying a werewolf? More over, Margi and the rest of the family seem to be okay with it. Chances are Margi is trying to make up for the absence within Mercy's life, and make memories that they all can share and laugh at when they are older.
Besides, Jesse was in on things too. Why do people seem to be giving her a pass? They both care about Mercy and love her, and both had a hand in the way the wedding came about the turned out.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2011, 09:30:26 am by Rothshaan »

Zealith

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #61 on: March 16, 2011, 06:33:43 pm »
What she did with the wedding just really rubbed me the wrong way. A wedding should be about what the bride/groom want to have and do, and (from how I read it), she ignored what Mercy wanted and instead turned it into what she wanted.

My impression was that she gave Mercy something very close to what she wanted, only teased her and acting like she was planning a wedding that was the complete opposite of what Mercy would have wanted.

Though I admit, the bet rubbed me the wrong way too.
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Kyria

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #62 on: March 16, 2011, 07:01:59 pm »
The bet didn't bother me... but I'm pretty sure that's just because I can see my family doing that to me, and I love them anyway.  They wouldn't be my family if they weren't like that, you know?
Families can be weird, they can make bad choices, they can be incredibly hurtful sometimes, they drive us nuts.  But in the end, that doesn't mean they aren't trying to do the right thing. 

I also got the impression that Margi did, in the end, give her daughter a wedding that was pretty much what she wanted... with a few, teasing touches of Margi, while the whole time pretending she's planning something that would horrify her daughter (and, that is something that my parents HAVE done.)

Kate

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #63 on: March 18, 2011, 07:16:30 pm »
The bet didn't bother me... but I'm pretty sure that's just because I can see my family doing that to me, and I love them anyway.  They wouldn't be my family if they weren't like that, you know?
Families can be weird, they can make bad choices, they can be incredibly hurtful sometimes, they drive us nuts.  But in the end, that doesn't mean they aren't trying to do the right thing. 

I also got the impression that Margi did, in the end, give her daughter a wedding that was pretty much what she wanted... with a few, teasing touches of Margi, while the whole time pretending she's planning something that would horrify her daughter (and, that is something that my parents HAVE done.)
That's pretty much how I felt about it. Mercy and Adam got a very nice, and in the end, not very elaborate wedding... and Mercy didn't have to spend months of her life planning it. She just got to enjoy it. I kind of thought it worked out quite well for her. Maybe I have that point of view because I've planned my own wedding and remember the stress of it? LOL Our wedding was even relatively simple.

The bet was teasing and fun. Not malicious. Planning the wedding was a way to make people they loved happy and seal the deal with a minimum of fuss. If Mercy had seemed at all put out about it, I might have a different opinion. But in the end, it seemed like she was more offended that she didn't catch on to the planning (sprained ego) than she was about having it taken out of her hands. She and Adam had PLANNED on getting married that day. She was going to feel bad about leaving out some of the people that they loved, but because of her mother and Jesse... she didn't have to. And at the end of the day, she got to have her wedding cake and share it with her family and friends, too. It just doesn't strike me that there's much bad here.  :P

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jenniwee

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #64 on: March 19, 2011, 06:38:12 pm »
I have been bothered by all of the things that Triakel points out.  I don't have quite the rabid dislike, but Margi is definitely not my favorite character. 

I agree with several of you that Bran probably had myriad conditions for taking Mercy in that would have caused Margi to behave in the way that she did, however, there remains one thing niggling at me.  In Moon Called, Mercy says Bran sent her to her mother when he caught her trying to sneak off with Samuel.  Doesn't this imply that Bran assumed the family knew and would be ready and willing to take her in?  If he had insisted on secrecy up to that point, why would he so suddenly send her there?  Perhaps I'm remembering that wrong, I do not have the book in front of me.

I think what bothers me most is that Margi never seems to have explained any but the most rudimentary things to Mercy and seems to keep pushing the buttons that make Mercy feel like an outsider.

As for the wedding, part of me is amused and part of me is annoyed.  I got the feeling that Margi took over because Mercy really didn't care that much about any of the details.  I think she probably would have (tried) to take over anyway (see Mercy's sister--won't grandbabies be fun with those grandmas?), but if Mercy had cared more, she wouldn't have been able to do so.  That being said, the mama in me is slightly offended that she tried to freak Mercy out more, to win the bet, rather than sitting her down and convincing her that small and quiet and fast would be best and by-the-by, why doesn't she leave all the planning to Jesse and Margi and just worry about showing up?

I think perhaps the wedding my illustrate best my reason for annoyance. Margi seems to show up and bulldoze through Mercy's life when it pleases her without much regard to all of Mercy's needs.  It rubs my mama-fur the wrong way!

Kyria

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #65 on: March 20, 2011, 06:02:26 pm »
Doesn't this imply that Bran assumed the family knew and would be ready and willing to take her in?  If he had insisted on secrecy up to that point, why would he so suddenly send her there?  Perhaps I'm remembering that wrong, I do not have the book in front of me.

To put it succinctly, no.  I don't think Bran's sending Mercy home at 16 indicates that he did or did not know that her step-father and half-sisters didn't know about her.  If he'd ordered (perhaps threatened) Margi to keep Mercy a secret all those years ago... and then - for his own reasons, whether to protect Mercy or for some other reason - 16 years later Mercy becomes more of a liability to keep in Aspen Falls than it would be to let three more people know about her and the werewolves.

That isn't to say this is how it happens, just that Bran seems the type to way his options, think things through, and then stick to his guns.  If he ordered Margi in no uncertain terms to act a certain way when Mercy was a baby, he might not rescind the order until he had good reason to do so... and he WOULD expect his order to be followed, despite Margi not being a werewolf (after all, he has pretty complete control over her daughter).

Cerulean

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #66 on: March 20, 2011, 08:27:18 pm »
As for Marji living at Aspen creek, I do not think that would have been offered her as a possibility.

Other humans live and work in Aspen Creek, though. I don't see why it would necessarily be a problem.

There are a lot of ways to think about Marji's actions, but I do agree that her actions appear to be less maternal in many lights. Sure, we don't know the details (and may never know them), but surely there is room for critique. Marji didn't know what to do with a baby coyote, but there must have been other options rather than leaving her child with strangers and only visiting once a year. She could be viewed as choosing her old life over her child, which would make me truly dislike her. But I'm preferring to go against the idea that she needed to find a man to marry and/or support her as the rationale for why she left Mercy. She's clearly shown she can take care of herself at a young age with very little. She's a very strong woman who can get by on that strength, but also on her charm and manipulative abilities. So I would see her as being able to take care of herself definitely. And clearly she's stood up to Bran several times, as Mercy alludes to in RM. So I don't see her getting pushed around much.
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Ellyll

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #67 on: March 26, 2011, 10:53:02 am »
Wasn't Marji only about sixteen when she had Mercy?  You're not talking an adult abandoning her baby, but a teenager, and a mid-teenager, at that.  (Unless I'm getting the age wrong...   :-whistle )
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Lady_Inari

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #68 on: March 26, 2011, 11:10:36 am »
Just to start this off, I LOOOOOVE these books. But Mercy's mum gets on my nerves. Have since she was first mentioned. I think she gets too much cred, here's why:

1. She kept her firstborn daughter a secret from her "real" new family for at least 12 years.
Curt didn't know about her until she came to live with them at age 16. Even forgetting about the husband (people lie to their partners all the time. I don't think that seems like good marriages, but still), she kept the children from knowing they had a sister for YEARS!!! Children have a right to their siblings! Bad Mercy's mum!

2. She lied about visiting Mercy
She apparently visited Mercy every summer during the 12 years she kept quiet about her daughters having a sister. So she not only kept her daughters from knowing each other, she bloody well LIED about it! How else could she visit? "Oh, I'm just popping out for some milk, see you in a couple of days" Hardly, she must have come up with a lie about where she was and what she was doing.

3. She obviously didn't think it was anything wrong with a 14 year old living on her own.
When Mercy’s foster parents died Bran let her live on her own. He obviously kept an eye on her, and one might make a case for age-related leniency on his part, since back in his days 14 was probably quite old enough for all sorts of things. But Mercy’s mum is 20th century human. She should have been concerned about her 14 year old daughter having to fend for herself. And she should have known, if she did visit every summer. So how come she didn’t let her daughter back then? She did so later after all.

4. She’s manipulative.
When we first meet the mother, Mercy describes her and says she’s never had to change her own flat tire. Not really a crime, but that means she gets OTHER PEOPLE to do it for her. Might not mean much until we get to:

GREAT BIG SPOILER ALERT

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----------------------

The wedding. What gives her the right to even have an opinion about her daughters wedding? (Disregarding the case that may be made she has no business claiming parental rights at all seeing how she’s hardly done any parenting) SHE’s not the one getting married. Maybe this is an American thing (or differences in cultural practises or something), but seriously, it’s Mercy and Adam getting married. Why is she even involved?

And the whole conspiracy originates with her (as a joke from her husband, but he couldn’t have organised it). And don’t get me started on how wrong I think manipulating your daughter (getting everyone else to also lie and deceive Mercy) and starting a betting ring on your daughter's marriage is.


In conclusion; she must have some charisma magic or something, that’s the only reason I can find for all these otherwise clear-thinking people, who values responsibility (Bran, Adam. Seriously serious about responsibility), to actually like her. And not only think she’s ok, but be gaga for her. Here’s my outlandish-and-not-at-all-serious suggestion: Mercy’s mum is an amoral fey gray lord or something. LOL

/Lina
 

*spoiler bars added since "River Marked" hasn't hit the stores yet, let alone been out at least a month.
Patti L.,
Busymoddy

**Upon consideration by various moderators, this is split back out, since it was taking over the River Marked speculation thread.  When RM has been out 4-6 weeks, we will move it into the "relationships" area of the "Published Books" section.

In the meantime, please, please! remember to use the spoiler bars, even though we're in the spoiler section.

Thank you,
Patti L.,
Busymoddy












She does seem a tad pushy that way and..heh, I'd tend to agree of the possiblity of fay blood, but weren't her parents both human?  They'd have to be fay too, to make her a possible gray lord :P 




Moonbeam

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #69 on: April 29, 2011, 04:25:59 pm »
I think I have some insight about the Margi/Mercy relationship - if just a little.

I grew up with a VERY difficult mother. The things she did to me while I was growing up make Margi look like a saint. What is even more aggravating is that nowadays, she refuses to acknowledge that she even might have made any "mistakes" with me (though "mistake" would be an infinitely kind way to describe it).

Even more aggravating, everyone seems to like my mother! Everyone she meets thinks she is friendly, kind, ect. ect. and they just adore her. It drives me nuts.

But what is there for me to do about it other than accept my mother for who she is and take her as she is now? I am twenty-eight years old. If I still held things against her that she did to torment and abuse me when I was fourteen or sixteen or whatever, that make ME the one with the problem at this point in life. Yeah, the way she acted was still wrong. Yeah, she is completely clueless about all the wrong she did and will probably never cop to it. But life is too short to hold onto those things. I can get past it and have a relationship with her NOW, or I can become the one who is the problem.

I think Mercy's attitude about such things is probably similar to my own. There isn't a whole lot of internal conversation on Mercy's part about how she felt toward her mother as a child; but I think that regardless of how she felt then, she'd be smart enough to make peace with it and take her mom as she comes now. And, you might notice, Mercy DOES keep her mother somewhat at arm's length. But she still allows her to be a part of her life, as much as she can stand.

No one is perfect. Some are worse than others. But your parents are your parents - even if they are horrible people who do horrible things, it is almost always worth keeping a line of communication open with them to a greater or lesser degree.

Pfefferminztee

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Re: SPOILERS: Mercy & Margi's relationship
« Reply #70 on: May 05, 2011, 11:59:11 am »

No one is perfect. Some are worse than others. But your parents are your parents - even if they are horrible people who do horrible things, it is almost always worth keeping a line of communication open with them to a greater or lesser degree.

I do not agree on that part. I don't think that a blood relationship alone can be the foundation for an emotional relationship, when there is no trust, understanding or respect involved.. and some actions are just unacceptable and can not be forgotten. (I'm not talking about Margi and Mercy now, because at least one can imagine that Margi tries to do the right things...)