Author Topic: Hate Mail – Why bother?  (Read 26278 times)

Patti L.

  • Administrator
  • Hostess of Hurog
  • *
  • Posts: 12652
  • Not PattY Briggs. Keeper of the fluffy vortex.
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #30 on: October 13, 2011, 07:47:49 pm »
Hate mail is a waste of time, but when I think of hate mail, I actually think of state of mind rather than anything else.

It's easier to tear someone down than build them up. *shrug* At least, imo.  And to systemically rip apart and personalize your attacks speaks volumes about well, you.

This, I believe is the heart of the matter.  "I want to make a difference and I can't make things better, ergo, I will tear them down to my level." 

Writing is one of the most subjective careers out there.  What speaks to one, might not necessarily speak to another. And it doesn't make them bad, it's simply what appeals to you and what doesn't.

There's nothing to be gained by writing something hateful and it won't make me feel any better so why do it?
And here's another point of this.  Some people - obviously not those who frequent this site! - do feel better for tearing down someone else.  Sadists, they're called.

Some people have the unfortunate mindset to first concentrate on what they don't like/want, then tear down the ones who produced it via hate mail/bad reviews.  Then, and this is where they are really damaged, they hang around to see the damage and throw gasoline on the flames.
I understand there's a lot of this at Amazon reviews, as well as certain other author boards.  Or forums dedicated to them, as the . . . mugglewhatzit mentioned early in the thread.
It's a leap year. Sanity is in short supply.  You can't have mine.

Gerd D.

  • Auto-Zauberer
  • *****
  • Posts: 588
  • "Bunnies! It might be bunnies!"
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #31 on: October 15, 2011, 03:51:34 am »
I guess you will like this blog post about responsibility in worldbuilding: Linky

I can see how people that may have been or may feel personally affected by something an author writes about might snap and feel compelled to write a letter opening with a friendly
Dear daft cow,

That's why you should sleep a night over it before putting up that letter - only, that is not going to happen on the internet, is it. :)

And you are right, hate mail doesn't work, because those that 'need' it won't listen.
Reminds of a quote by George Orwell, about how Governments can weather out moral outrage 'till the cows come home.


This, I believe is the heart of the matter.  "I want to make a difference and I can't make things better, ergo, I will tear them down to my level."
Aye, that's true.
Writing hate mail gives you a treacherous sense of instant gratification, while trying to support a matter you really care for, trying to work a change and if it was only in the way people write about certain things, is a slow and frustrating process.
“Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.”

Terry Pratchett, "Hogfather"

Patti L.

  • Administrator
  • Hostess of Hurog
  • *
  • Posts: 12652
  • Not PattY Briggs. Keeper of the fluffy vortex.
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #32 on: October 15, 2011, 09:50:27 am »
I'll look at the link later.
How could all hate mail be "derived from over-involvement in fantasy, and a loss of contact with reality"?  Some of it is written about facts!

Here's an example of what I mean.
Ted Bundy exists.  He did murder several people.
Ann Rule wrote about it.
Facts, yes?
I am of the opinion that she shouldn't have done so.
It glorifies serial killers, makes it seem reasonable an attractive to people who aren't too tightly linked to reality already.
They become serial killers or enablers for them.

I am not going to write hate mail to Ms. Rule - who doesn't live all that far from me, as it happens, someone sent me a link to the internet listing for the home she's selling nearby a few days ago - because of several things.

She's not alone in writing about serial killers, and I'm not going to stop her from making her living this way.
I would be one step closer to becoming what I despise by being hateful toward her.
It would - if it got out where others could see it, as email has a habit of doing - only increase interest in a subject I'd be trying to smother!  Entirely counterproductive.
It's a leap year. Sanity is in short supply.  You can't have mine.

Temari

  • Guest
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #33 on: October 22, 2011, 12:37:43 pm »
Just a thought - I wonder how much more hate mail authors get now that mail is email rather than snail mail?

Many people might feel compelled to write down their feelings on something. But then
- in the past they would have to at the least walk/drive to a post office, perhaps waiting until the next day before doing so
- now they just hit 'send'

I think in the first instance many people would in fact decide, on reflection, not to send anything at all.


Patti L.

  • Administrator
  • Hostess of Hurog
  • *
  • Posts: 12652
  • Not PattY Briggs. Keeper of the fluffy vortex.
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #34 on: October 22, 2011, 01:24:23 pm »
Tenfold more at least.
It's a leap year. Sanity is in short supply.  You can't have mine.

Gerd D.

  • Auto-Zauberer
  • *****
  • Posts: 588
  • "Bunnies! It might be bunnies!"
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #35 on: October 23, 2011, 05:29:38 am »
Many people might feel compelled to write down their feelings on something. But then
- in the past they would have to at the least walk/drive to a post office, perhaps waiting until the next day before doing so
- now they just hit 'send'
And this is not taking into account the other "advances" beyond mere convenience:

- no postage to be paid,
- no handwriting/typewriting skills required (not that I expect these people to care much for legibility of their message),
- a heightened sense of anonymity
...

I'm sure more could come to mind.


Though, the first is naturally the main point.
The old joke about the company that set up a eMail system to reduce paper costs and then ended up with much higher paper costs because inter-bureau messaging became so hateful and unreliable (people claiming to have sent mails others claiming never to have received any) that everybody started to print out (most) everything they did send or receive... doesn't exist for no reason.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2011, 05:35:43 am by Gerd D. »
“Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.”

Terry Pratchett, "Hogfather"

dkusnetzky

  • Tool Wrangler
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #36 on: October 01, 2012, 06:31:24 am »
As an author of industry research, I often face criticism for what I've published. For the most part, this has been limited to Emailed messages designed to help me see the error of my ways, enlighten me to the proper way of seeing things or to show me where my research methodology is wrong.

On more than one occasion, I've actually gotten telephone calls from industry executives trying to convince me to edit a report, retract a report or merely to help me see their point of view.

Once, a major executive suggested that I made up a whole market out of nothing. This, by the way, was a market that produces several billion dollars in revenues every year.

I take these attempts to reach out as ways to suggest different ways for me to see things. I'm grateful to them for taking the time. It demonstrates that something I've written was important enough to them for them to take action and reach out to me.

Dan K in ROC

Patti L.

  • Administrator
  • Hostess of Hurog
  • *
  • Posts: 12652
  • Not PattY Briggs. Keeper of the fluffy vortex.
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #37 on: October 01, 2012, 06:43:28 am »
I am staggered.
I do note, though, that you're basically talking about the content, not about attacks on you personally.
It's a leap year. Sanity is in short supply.  You can't have mine.

dkusnetzky

  • Tool Wrangler
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #38 on: October 02, 2012, 02:22:21 am »
If being described as "an idiot" is a personal attack, that's been part of the package. I'm just pleased to have found a way to have had an impact.

Dan K in ROC

Patti L.

  • Administrator
  • Hostess of Hurog
  • *
  • Posts: 12652
  • Not PattY Briggs. Keeper of the fluffy vortex.
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #39 on: October 02, 2012, 05:03:10 am »
"an idiot" is a personal attack, but a relatively minor one.
It's a leap year. Sanity is in short supply.  You can't have mine.

dkusnetzky

  • Tool Wrangler
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #40 on: October 03, 2012, 01:48:22 am »
I've discovered that an interesting way to address those issues is to send a private message to the individual, thank them for their interest and then find out why they feel that way.  Often I learn that there are good reasons supporting their viewpoint. I might not agree with those reasons, but once I understand them, I can take that viewpoint into account when writing other things.

In the end, most are just trying to be heard.
Dan K in ROC

Patti L.

  • Administrator
  • Hostess of Hurog
  • *
  • Posts: 12652
  • Not PattY Briggs. Keeper of the fluffy vortex.
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #41 on: October 03, 2012, 05:30:53 am »
Sounds as though what you have are more differences of interpretation than "you are an evil bast&rd who I hope roasts in hell, and your dog with you" which is more what a lot of us are thinking of when we hear "hate mail."

Maybe factual, scientific writing doesn't generate the same kind of misplaced passions.
It's a leap year. Sanity is in short supply.  You can't have mine.

dkusnetzky

  • Tool Wrangler
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #42 on: October 04, 2012, 01:41:11 am »
What would even be worse would be the wish that you roast your dog in hell.
Dan K in ROC

Gerd D.

  • Auto-Zauberer
  • *****
  • Posts: 588
  • "Bunnies! It might be bunnies!"
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #43 on: October 04, 2012, 07:21:26 am »
Maybe factual, scientific writing doesn't generate the same kind of misplaced passions.

Scientific readers probably realise that there's no way to prove the existence of "hell" just before they hit the send button. :)
“Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.”

Terry Pratchett, "Hogfather"

dkusnetzky

  • Tool Wrangler
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Re: Hate Mail – Why bother?
« Reply #44 on: October 05, 2012, 02:39:23 am »
Hell exists! You can find it right here on Google Maps http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&tab=wl  :)
Dan K in ROC